Last night we went out to dinner to one of our old usuals- The Cactus. We got there at 5:45 and all of the tables were full.  It looked like most of the tables had just sat down but we decided to wait the 15-25 minutes quoted- keep in mind Sennet is still in bed most nights by 630ish but he was in a good mood so we decided to go with it.

Before Sennet, I was the queen of hovering over tables that looked like they might be getting up soon so we could grab the table- no hurry, no pressure- we just want your table when you leave .  Now I am the queen of giving evil dagger looks at people as they enjoy their leisurely dinner while I am counting down the minutes until Sennet looses it.

I think it is only fair to let you know now that Sennet was great- better than great- last night at dinner.  He sat and ate well- no crying or screaming- it was a glimpse into the future.  In fact this morning, he asked to go out to eat again.

There is no way I could have known it would turn out this way before we were finally seated and I found myself making up some rules for diners/restaurants that are easy to follow and in my opinion common courtesy.

• You don’t get to go out to eat before 6:30 pm if you don’t have kid(s) under 6.
• If you can’t follow the easy rule above, you most certainly are not allowed to sit and chat or read a book long after you are done with your dinner if there are people waiting with kids under 6.
• Again, if you can’t follow the first rule, I don’t care if it is your birthday, you don’t get to sit and open presents and oooh and ahhh over them if there are people waiting with kids under 6. No one cares about birthdays for people your age anyway stupid.
• Even if you have kids under 6, you don’t get to order effing dessert or coffee if there are people waiting with kids under 6. What are you thinking giving your kids all that sugar before bedtime anyway stupid?
• Even if you have kids under 6, you don’t get to sit and read books to your kids long after you are done with dinner if there are people waiting with kids under 6. Take your ass home and read books at your house stupid!
• Even if you have kids under 6, you don’t get to answer your phone or otherwise leave the table and do whatever it is you’re doing if there are people waiting with kids under 6. Hey stupid guy- what are you teaching your kids about dinnertime?
• Even if you have kids under 6, you don’t get to order items from the menu that have warnings about taking 30+ minutes to cook if there are people waiting with kids under 6.
• No miss hostess person, you do NOT get to sit a party of 5 down in a booth that holds 6 when a party of 3 with a kid under 6 has been waiting for 25 minutes and the stupid party of 5 just walked in.  Are you retarded?
• Washington’s stupid law that minors can’t go into a bar- even with an adult- is the most annoying thing in the world ever.  It is painful looking at the empty seats in the bar area that you can’t use because someone, somewhere came up with the most stupid law ever. Stupid. This needs to go away.
• Most importantly, no matter what you are doing at your table hurry the f**k up and get the f**k up  if there are people waiting with kids under 6.

See, these are all totally easy and reasonable.