I am embarrassed and saddened to admit to myself much less out loud that I have never really had a dream and gone after it.

As a little girl, I never dreamed about my wedding.  In the end, this was not such a bad thing and because I didn’t have a binder of ideas I had been collecting since I was 10, I went with the flow and planned the wedding we wanted when we got married and wasn’t forced to plan based on my years of *dream* planning.

I never dreamed about what I wanted to be when I grew up.  In a way, this turned out to be an okay thing to because I sort of fell into real estate and it has been really good for me. At 25, I was too dumb to know I couldn’t do it- so I did it.

I never dreamed about what my family would be like or what my kids would look like.  I didn’t have the kids names picked out.  I didn’t have a set idea on what a husband should be like- honestly, I just never thought about it.  This hasn’t been such a bad thing either as I got super lucky on both counts possibly because I didn’t force myself into a box based on my dreams???

As much as I love(d) my job as a real estate agent and as good as I am at it- I have never been passionate about it.  I guess what I mean by that is that it came very easily (for the most part) to me and I had a natural skill and aptitude for it.  I didn’t spend hours upon hours learning everything I could about real estate.  I didn’t immerse myself in real estate and eat, sleep, breathe real estate.

I’m not sure how you give up on a dream once you have it???

Well, now I have a dream and I am absolutely smart enough to know I might not be able to do it. Self-doubt is a huge factor and the fear of the unknown and the what-ifs… Not to mention a hefty mortgage and planning for the future and Sennet and so on and so on.

My dream is to be a professional photographer.  There I said it out loud.

Am I good enough? I think even 6 months ago my answer would have been no.  But I look at other peoples work and more often than not- I think my work is better.  But, is it?

Am I too old?  It is really scary to think about starting over and that is basically what following this dream would mean.

Can I do it? Can I be successful? Will I try? Should I try? What if I fail? How do I try? What do we do if I fail?

All I know is that I live, breathe, eat, dream photography and want to learn and learn and do and do and learn and do more and more photography.

Who will come visit us if we move to Maui??